Once any of us reach a certain level of success, one of the regular questions we hear is, “Whatone thing has been most important to your success in the business?” There are, of course, anumber of critical areas of focus in order to be successful, but if I had to pick one thing it wouldbe spouse support, or as my sweet wife, Cindy, calls it, “couple power.”
Every marriage is a partnership. It is a partnership in love, friendship, child rearing and in careers, too. As in business, some partnerships are happy and strong, and some not so effective. One of our most important tasks in leadership is to do all we can to support and strengthen our couples in the business. If the leadership at World Financial Group reviews what makes a truly great team member, they are bound to found a loving spouse and family supporting him or her in business and home life. I have learned for better or for worse that teamwork in the home, or the lack of it, makes or breaks more careers then any other single factor. Since our personal and business progress can at times be frustratingly slow, we generally need all the help and encouragement we can get.
When I think back from the very beginning to the present day, I know the biggest factor in my personal happiness and business success has been and is the consistent loving support of my wife. As with any good marriage, her opinion is more important to me than any other person’s on the planet. How she feels has more effect on me than anything else. This is the way it works for most of us. With that being true, a couple united in purpose and goals is not just twice as strong in the business, but four or five times more powerful. Without that support, no matter how capable the person, the odds for success are greatly diminished.
I remember a sharp, up-and-coming leader in my base shop, who I’ll call Dan. Dan was bright and charming with an excellent sense of humor. He came to our team with a sales and leadership background, was married and had four young children. He seemed a perfect recruit. And yet, I couldn’t help but notice that periodically or regularly he would get down or depressed, even though he seemed to have it all together.
One day I asked him how his wife, April, felt about his involvement in the business. He indicated that she didn’t feel that good about it. Immediately I set a time for them to come in and meet with me. When they came in soon thereafter, I took one look at her expression and body language and knew I had my work cut out for me. As they sat down on the couch in my office, she wouldn’t even look directly at me. I thanked her for coming in, then asked her point blank, how she felt about Dan’s involvement in the company. Again without even looking at me, she said tersely, “You don’t want to know.”
“April, even though you may find this hard to believe, how you feel means more to me than anything, whether it be positive or negative. Just tell me how you really feel,” I said.
“Never underestimate the extraordinary power of a couple united in purpose and determination.”
She started in and didn’t come up for air for at least 20 minutes. I began to realize that Dan was using the business as an excuse to stay away from home. He was failing as a husband and a father in her eyes and she was carrying the weight of four young children pretty much by herself. A couple of times during her comments, I turned to Dan and asked him, “Is this true?” I could tell by the look on his face that it was. After hearing her out, I thanked her for being honest with me. It was very understandable why she felt the way she did. I let her know that I didn’t think Dan’s conduct was acceptable either and let them both know that if he didn’t step up to his responsibilities at home and be a better teammate in his marriage that I didn’t think he needed to continue on in this business. I meant every word of it. April was very surprised that day, because she assumed I was part of the problem and maybe even had encouraged Dan in his behavior. A half hour after they arrived at my office, she understood that she had an ally.
I then introduced her to my wife, and we began a conversation about how to make their family and business work together to bring prosperity to both. It was a great conversation, and a quality friendship was born that afternoon. In the months ahead, April became one of our most supportive partners. Dan stepping up to his duties at home preceded that, of course. The influence of our leadership truly helped their marriage and, therefore, their family. This is the great privilege of our business. What if I had ignored or avoided April’s frustrations or her negativity? Would they have gone away by me pretending that they weren’t there? Eventually, their marriage would have likely continued to struggle and as she became more frustrated, his career would have soon come to an end and the marriage would have suffered, perhaps dramatically.
Never underestimate the extraordinary power of a couple united in purpose and determination. When a member of World Financial Group reviews his or her team, he or she doesn’t just see individuals, but rather recognizes the family that is behind them.
Encourage couple participation in everything that we do – our meetings, our events, our trips, everything. Meet periodically with the couples on your team. Find out how they really feel and work with them to take them to the next level of play at home and in the business.
Without Cindy’s support, not only would I have not prospered, but also I probably would have never really gotten started. Our very reason for existence as a company is to help families. That vision will always include your teammates. David O. McKay says, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” All things can prosper with a solid foundation at home.
That’s a key to success we should never forget.
